i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
