He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
