Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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