i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
