yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
