Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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