Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you never un-have a 4some
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
