Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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