Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
