Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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