she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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