i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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