There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
