He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
