I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How does it feel to date your dad?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
