You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
