Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The beers last night were like the tears from god
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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