You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
