You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
