the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
