Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
