I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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