Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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