who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We had to coat check the pizza.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
