took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
