I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
