Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
