he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
