i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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