you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
