I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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