the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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