Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just pee around me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
