It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
