Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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