So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
