i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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