omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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