I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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