I seem to have left my pride at pride
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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