just come out here and I will go home with you...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
