How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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