You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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