Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
