I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
