i permit you to call me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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