and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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