That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
