he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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