just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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