you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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