Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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