so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
