Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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