So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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