So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
